OY VEY!

i am catching so much shit for this stitch 'n pitch thing! the powers that be asked me to help, i tell them i'm bad at these things, that i have a business to run, and that i'm really bad at these things. they whined, i gave in. i tried to weasel out of it and they pulled me back in. i'm not getting paid, there is nothing in this for me.

now lets be explicit, none of the stores who sell tickets make anything off their sale, the distributors who donate free stuff don't make any money and i'm not sure if the ball park even makes money off of the discounted tickets. every cent goes directly to pay for the tickets, we're just kind hearted intermediaries who facilitate an event for all of you. we are intercessors.

so i have to send out info about the event to every source i can find in southern ontario and the environs. and i'm thorough, i leave no stone unturned. I'm not a communications director or a marketer. i was trained for a decade as an academic, i can sit alone in a small room and amass massive amounts of information, organize it and make sense of it. i can cultivate and apply prose, but i was trained to communicate with other academics in that vernacular and within the boundaries of that culture. i don't know shit about publicizing an event.

i write a blurb that is as lucid a possible: who, what, when, where, why, how much, and so what. i assume that most people don't spend their days cruising every knitting forum online. i post the notice in every conceivable place a southern ontarian or someone who may like to visit Toronto may be. I send it to Meetup knitting groups and in all the groups on Ravelry that are related to ontario or may have a large contingent of southern ontarians.

Now people are yelling at me! one store owner is pissed because her clients are going to think she's selling tickets to the event, but she doesn't want to sell tickets, and she doesn't want to field phone calls from her clients. sorry, i thought knitters at your store might want to know about a knitting event in their area, feel free to send them to your competitors for the tickets. someone in a forum says it is inappropriate to post about this event, a canadian event in a forum about canadian knitters who all happen to like something or other that is canadian. sorry, it made sense to me, have ontario knitters seceded from the federation of canadian knitters? someone from an online knitting group in a place near toronto tells me "never to solicit them again". so sorry, i figured a public online group of knitters who want to meet other knitters to knit with in person might possibly want to receive a private e-mail to the moderator letting them know about an event near them where knitters get together to knit together in person. so sorry to you all, my logic must be flawed.

but the worst was an actual embarrassment. i open my ravelry mail today to find a note from the yarn harlot. paraphrasing: "dear haley, i hear i am throwing the first pitch at the ball game. this is news to me, what up? YH." fuckity fuck fuck fuck. "Dear YH, i apologize profusely! the baseball guy seems to have passed me erroneous information. christ almighty. i'm going to hang myself now. with best intentions, haley." it's good that the most influential person in my industry thinks i'm a deranged opportunist, this will pave the way for a brilliant new career as a real estate agent.

i don't need this. i'm going next door to scratch for a chai latte and a gooey brownie.